i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
