On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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