All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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