can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
