well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ttyl tear gas
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize