last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
