it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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