some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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