I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You don't make any sense
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