is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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