if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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