Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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