I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
