We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
