Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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