well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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