hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
