Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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