white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
