I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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