Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You smell like a Billy Joel song
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
