careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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