i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
