It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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