I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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