also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
