just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
