How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
