Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
