ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
