He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
