can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
