dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
