I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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