Your mouth is God's brothel.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
