i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize