I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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