I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
