when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
