we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
