It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
