the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize