and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
