Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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