He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
