its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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