I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?