Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

(323): View more from California

Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

(831): View more from California

Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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(831): Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777 (323): Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;) (831): Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up. http://tfl.nu/bykg

Replies (19) Good night (2124) Bad night (705)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"

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(814): he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career" http://tfl.nu/95bq

Replies (14) Good night (1170) Bad night (2649)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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(252): im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note http://tfl.nu/eb9t

Replies (21) Good night (5848) Bad night (619)
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(407): View more from Florida

he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around

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(407): he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around http://tfl.nu/8mq7

Replies (21) Good night (3680) Bad night (751)
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(518): View more from New York

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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(518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo

Replies (19) Good night (12933) Bad night (1110)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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(508): i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot http://tfl.nu/slrj

Replies (6) Good night (1895) Bad night (1388)
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(212): View more from New York

He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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(212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39

Replies (9) Good night (1086) Bad night (2129)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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(715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey

Replies (1) Good night (1725) Bad night (792)
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(253): View more from Washington

At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.

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(253): At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets. http://tfl.nu/s5np

Replies (9) Good night (3848) Bad night (730)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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(250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya

Replies (6) Good night (2137) Bad night (569)
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(713): View more from Texas

It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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(713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim

Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (274)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down

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(613): Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down http://tfl.nu/70sk

Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (526)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME

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(306): just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME http://tfl.nu/54hn

Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (295)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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(413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip

Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (272)
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(619): View more from California

A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.

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(619): A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/3eld

Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (296)

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