Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so that wasnt chicken after all
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
