i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize