I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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