i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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