508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
