Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
