someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
