You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
