I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can I color on your dick again?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize