people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I'm really busy with my period
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