When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize