I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
