My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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